Hi, maybe you can help me or at least lend a unbiased ear. I am gay and have known for a while. I have not come out to anyone and frankly my biggest fear is someone finding out. I have a real strong family base (except with my dad) and we seem to always be there for each other, but they have on many occasions expressed their feelings about homosexuality. Quoting my mother " Seeing two guys kissing creeps me out! It is just disgusting!" or my brother " When two girls kiss, it is so hot! When two guys kiss, it's nasty." And my cousin(s) aren't any better. The running joke whenever we are together or playing a game online together is whoever is doing poorly, or not playing the way they want is "gay" and it bothers me. Part of me wants to fit in so bad and yet, there is a part of me that wants to tell them to shove it, grab the first guy I meet and kiss him. Granted with my luck I would be brought up on charges of stupidity and branded with a restraining order. If you were to ask me what is the first thing I think about doing with a guy, my answer would be curling up together on a couch and just feeling his arms warp around me as we watch TV or read. Sadly, I guess I will probably never get anywhere waiting for a white knight to come sweep me off my feet. I consider myself very tradition and conservative. I've never had 1 boyfriend let alone any type of relationship. I'm 26 years old and I sometimes look at my life and see the Drew Barrymore movie Never Been Kissed playing out before my eyes, all the while thinking 'That is going to be me, that is going to be me.' Or maybe it is like the Forty Year Old Virgin, but that is way to depressing to think about. The last thing I want is some random hook-up, believe me! Well, I know I have wasted a lot of your time, so I'll just say adios and thanks in advance for any advice offered.
~Shy Guy