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Spectrum (Formerly Known as BiGALA)

Missouri State University's Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, and Ally Alliance.

Looking for advice or helpful thoughts

Last post 03-15-2010 8:33 PM by Anonymous. 1 replies.
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  • 02-08-2010 2:45 PM

    Looking for advice or helpful thoughts

    Hi, maybe you can help me or at least lend a unbiased ear. I am gay and have known for a while. I have not come out to anyone and frankly my biggest fear is someone finding out. I have a real strong family base (except with my dad) and we seem to always be there for each other, but they have on many occasions expressed their feelings about homosexuality. Quoting my mother " Seeing two guys kissing creeps me out! It is just disgusting!" or my brother " When two girls kiss, it is so hot! When two guys kiss, it's nasty." And my cousin(s) aren't any better. The running joke whenever we are together or playing a game online together is whoever is doing poorly, or not playing the way they want is "gay" and it bothers me. Part of me wants to fit in so bad and yet, there is a part of me that wants to tell them to shove it, grab the first guy I meet and kiss him. Granted with my luck I would be brought up on charges of stupidity and branded with a restraining order. If you were to ask me what is the first thing I think about doing with a guy, my answer would be curling up together on a couch and just feeling his arms warp around me as we watch TV or read. Sadly, I guess I will probably never get anywhere waiting for a white knight to come sweep me off my feet. I consider myself very tradition and conservative. I've never had 1 boyfriend let alone any type of relationship. I'm 26 years old and I sometimes look at my life and see the Drew Barrymore movie Never Been Kissed playing out before my eyes, all the while thinking 'That is going to be me, that is going to be me.' Or maybe it is like the Forty Year Old Virgin, but that is way to depressing to think about. The last thing I want is some random hook-up, believe me! Well, I know I have wasted a lot of your time, so I'll just say adios and thanks in advance for any advice offered. ~Shy Guy
  • 03-15-2010 8:33 PM In reply to

    Re: Looking for advice or helpful thoughts

    Wow, I can really relate with you. My family is just as homophobic, if not more so. While I do not associate myself as gay (not really into sex, and I wonder if I am asexual) I do crave more than just surface friendships. It is actually kinda funny, but I don't generally connect to most males yet I crave meaningful friendships with more than just females. Even though I was raised to be homophobic (as was until late high school/early college) it seems like the few males that I connect with tend to be gay or bi. Even so, I do not feel like I can pursue such friendships because of how strongly my parents and family feel about any non-heterosexually oriented individual. (they don't really tolerate my few *** friends, and would NOT tolerate an openly gay friend). But yeah, dude, you are not the only one in that sort of boat. Don't worry about "wasting people's time," as it is your feelings you are putting to paper. A person's deep feelings are always worthwhile. As for you being shy and lonely, you don't have to be. While I couldn't help you in the romance department, I could at least be a sympathetic ear and possibly your fiend. (even if I am not a member of BiGALA... >.>) (Keep this topic going?) ~The Loner
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